Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
