I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
