At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
True strength comes from lack of pants
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
