i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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