My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
how drunk are you?
Several
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
