I smell stomach acid.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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