he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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