yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
