so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize