if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
