Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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