Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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