I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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