Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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