why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is wine microwaveable?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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