...so i touched it.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
