I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
