You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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