listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I would ride that face into the sunset
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call