oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.