how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.