my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
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I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"