Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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