So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize