ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
