no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
