she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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