His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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