i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
