so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
