i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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