we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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