Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize