Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
