found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
