is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
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So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
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I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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