ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize