I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
