but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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