Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
