i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
