I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize