we have pet lesbian snakes
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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