WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
