are you still at the devil's house?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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