It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize