He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
