sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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