i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
