Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
