planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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