My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
All the doctor said was why
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
