I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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