using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
