Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
