who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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