OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So much rum. So many feels.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
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