I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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