you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
A bitchslap is in order.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize