found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
