Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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