Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
