you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
