I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i out mim tonsoeep
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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