Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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