I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize